Thursday, June 14, 2012

New blog

Because I set up this blog with my Hope College email, I no longer have full access to it. I am going back to Australia and thought it a good idea to start blogging again, so I created a new one. It can be found at http://15458.blogspot.com/ Enjoy!

Monday, May 7, 2012

“Change not only was inevitable, but usually brought its own rewards.” ― Nicholas Sparks

I heard it said that other than the first four years of our lives, the largest changes occur during college. Looking back as I head toward graduation, I decided to reflect on things that I did in the last four years that I never thought would happen or I'd do. The list is quite extensive and I've decided to share it on here. (These are in no particular order and I'm sure that there's more, but here's what I have so far. Please feel free to leave a comment if you can think of something I may have missed.)

  •  Start, or even join, a Quidditch club
  • Play Quidditch intercollegiately
  •   Have Quidditch become an official part of Family Weekend
  •  Study abroad
  •  Go to a club
  •  Willingly dance (besides Dutch Dance)
  •  Live in a co-ed dorm or flat
  • Have a boyfriend
  •  Plan on getting my MPH
  • Planning on going back to Australia to get my MPH
  • Tutor underprivileged high school students- and love it!
  •  Change my plans of living in Holland, MI for the rest of my life (and buying my blue house back)
  • Help with a political campaign by making campaign phone calls
  •  Major in something other than Biology
  • Fully embrace being a nerd
  • Change a diaper
  •  Actually care about social justice problems
  •  Participate in Nykerk song
  • Eat kangaroo, lamb, and buffalo
  • Admit to being a Slytherin
  • Question my beliefs as they relate to Catholicism/Protestantism
  • Befriend someone with morals and values different from my own
  • Not want to stay in Michigan
  • Hating the snow/cold

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

It gets better!

So I realized about a month or two ago that this was still the blog that the CIEE website linked to and I should probably end on a happier note than my previous reverse culture shock post of a year ago. (Everyone besides those directed here by the CIEE website probably already know this stuff, so it's just for the benefit of potential study abroad students so they know it isn't all horrible upon returning from studying abroad.)

Things continued to suck as I shuffled through the rest of my spring semester last year. I was pretty much apathetic to everything around me and the highlight of my week was when I was able to talk to Rohan, who I had met on the bus trip to NTE. One thing led to another and we started dating in May (that's a whole other story, though). Summer came and I got a lot happier because of the weather, being away from the drama at school, and being in a new relationship, although the long distance really sucks.

Caitlin and I figured out living arrangements with some new friends for this year and it's definitely had it's ups and downs. Then Rohan came to visit over my Christmas break and stayed pretty much the whole time. (He left a couple days before I went back to Hope) It was awesome and confirmed that I want to get back to Australia ASAP after graduation, which is May 6th. (Did I mention that I'm REALLY glad that I went on bus trip?)

Anyway, I miss Australia and not just because of Rohan. (Although, admittedly, that's definitely the biggest reason) I'm ready to move on and just get out of this place. I've lived in Michigan my whole life and studying abroad has allowed me to see that I want to leave. I know that I'll be able to live somewhere else, even if it is hard to be away from home at times. I will be applying for postgrad in Australia to get my Master's of Public Health in the coming weeks with the hopes of being accepted and starting uni in semester 2 (this July). Hopefully it'll all work out, and I'll be sure to keep you posted.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Is it lying to others if you are lying to yourself first?

"I'm fine" is one of the biggest lies, but usually people don't really want to hear what's wrong. If you lie to yourself saying that you are fine and convince yourself of it, then tell other people, is it still a lie?

Reverse culture shock is not something that I thought would happen to me. Hope College tried to prepare us for it in the pre-departure orientation, but I disregarded it. I figured that it applied more to people studying in countries that aren't westernized or didn't speak English. I didn't see how I would have trouble when I got back to my own country when Australia seemed so similar. It does have differences, though, and being abroad has caused me to grow as a person. Although the changes may have been hard to see in myself, my parents could tell when they came to visit.

I never gave reverse culture shock much thought until I was talking to my roommate from Hope. A lot of things had been going on and she was the only one that was still talking to me while I was gone. My friendships had hit some very rocky roads over my semester abroad. It all started when they got back to school. Where they were living had mold, so they had to move out. They had moved to different places and through a variety of events, that I won't go in to here, my roommate and the rest of them were no longer close friends. The rest of the girls never talked to me while I was abroad (besides one skype call before the mold incident) and I only heard what was happening from my roommate. Things kind of exploded between me and the other girls in November and I haven't really talked to them since. We had all changed during the summer and the semester I was gone, but luckily I had my roommate to keep me caught up on the events as they were unfolding so that I didn't come back not knowing any of this.

Another part of my reverse culture shock is that I ended my term abroad with the highlight of my trip. I was originally supposed to go back with my parents when they came to visit, but I changed plans by going to NTE. I have no doubts (well there's always a possibility of error so maybe 99.99% sure) that reverse culture shock would have been a lot better had I stuck with the original plan. Don't get me wrong, I am completely happy that I went and it was great experience. I met a lot of awesome people that I wouldn't have met otherwise and  it was great to be able to grow in Christ with them. It is just that most of my friends at Murdoch were, unfortunately, also study abroad students. Although I probably won't see them again, they were American so it didn't feel like they'd be gone forever. Another reason is that when saying goodbye to people at NTE, they would say something like see you in God's kingdom if not sooner. It was really sad to think that I probably won't see them again.

As anyone that has read my previous posts knows, I have not cried in at least five years. That was until the Saturday after I got home. I was having a hard time adjusting to being away from friends and just living with my parents and dog. I was glad to be able to be with my dog because he is the only that got me through my depression after moving to Ann Arbor during high school. I was on edge from various things that I could have put up with before just fine, such as my dad's obsession with U of Michigan football! Something as simple as my parents not having any stick butter is what finally put me over the edge. (They had a frozen pound of butter, but that's another story.) I was also listening to my zune and the song 'Days of Summer' from A Very Potter Sequel came on. It's a song about being separated and some of the lyrics just sent me over the edge to the point that I had to go in my room and just cry.


I still had about a month to be home before going back to Hope. Luckily my sister let me stay at her house for about a week around Christmas. Being away from Ann Arbor, not to mention getting to see my niece and nephew, helped get my mind over my depression. We also had Christmas parties and other events that helped to keep my mind off of things. That held me over until I started getting excited to be going back to Hope and getting to see my roommate, Caitlin. (yes, we have the same name) I was also happy to get back to Quidditch. Now classes are settled down again, and I don't have a lot of homework or in-class time because my classes are easy compared to what I've had other semesters. (I'm now done with my biology minor so it is my first semester without a biology class.) This has given me more time to think and I'm more depressed that I have been since initially moving. I've even cried since the initial time. (It gets easier to cry each consecutive time.) I never thought that I would be depressed being in Holland!

It's hard to say what has caused my depression. I know it has various factors, but it really isn't that I'm sad about what happened with my old friends. I believe that everything happens for a reason and the mold in their old cottage was just a gift from God to help me realize that we needed to go our separate ways. (I'm stubborn so He has to do these things. Another example is not giving me a biology brain so that I got bad grades and would realize that biology/pre-vet was not my calling.) I'm happy to not be friends with them and I really like Caitlin's new friends. It's just hard to not be depressed now, and the weather isn't helping. I will probably revert back to taking my anti-anxiety medicine because they are also used as anti-depressants. (I have not had the anxiety problems I had before Australia, with a few minor exceptions.)

On a funnier note, I had trouble doing things like crossing the street and walking on the right side of hallways/sidewalks. Luckily I always check both ways before crossing the street. Our apartment is also about two blocks from the main part of campus so we have to cross a street that is one way. When going to school the cars go the same way that they would be in Australia so I think that probably confused me more or for longer. For the first few weeks I wouldn't cross the street until the walk signal changed even if there were no cars because I was paranoid about it.

Monday, December 13, 2010

If only the 40-hour day could have been with friends instead of on an airplane!

When Katie and I woke up we went down to breakfast even though it wasn't supposed to start yet. There were still a lot of people there, though. Breakfast was kind of like musical chairs because every time someone got up, someone else would sit in their chair. It didn't matter if you left something at your chair, either. It was funny though because then we got to sit by quite a few people since it was our last day. After breakfast the principal, David Cook (no, unfortunately not the singer) said a prayer. We were then on our own for the day. Katie and I were kinda standing there for a while figuring out what we could do in the few hours we had before we had to pick up her bags and get to the airport for our flights. During that time Steve gave me a book about the differences between Catholicism and Protestantism. He said he 'used to be Catholic but then in his 20s became a  Christian.' I really don't understand why people don't think that Catholics are Christians. As a Catholic person, I find this insulting.

Anyway, we went to the city with a bunch of people. We all walked to the train station together. When I got my ticket, the person asked my age. I probably could have saved a few bucks if I wasn't so darn honest! We then all got on the bus, except a few people didn't get their tickets on time and had to wait for the next train. Most people got off a few stops ahead of where we were going, but since it was Katie's first time in Sydney we wanted to go to Sydney Harbour and see the Opera House. It was Katie, Monica, Ruby, Amber, Nathalie, Tom, Rohan, and myself. We got off the train and started walking toward the Sydney Opera House and Rohan had to stop at his favourite gelato place because he has to go there every time he is in Sydney. He bought Katie and me some gelato. We then walked up to the opera house, but a lot of it was closed off. Oprah was in Australia and they were setting up for her show. I left just in time because her show was the next day.
Photo courtesy of Katie
Didgeridoo players
Photo courtesy of Katie
Me, Nathalie, and Katie in front
 of Sydney Harbour Bridge
Photo courtesy of Katie
Octavius at Sydney Harbour
Octavius and the Sydney 'Oprah' house

Oprah was everywhere!


Oprah's stage

Katie and I still had to pick up our luggage from SMBC, get her luggage that was delivered to Sydney, and make it to the airport for our flights at 3-3:30, so we headed out. We said goodbye to everyone except Rohan because he went with us since he has been to Sydney many times anyway. We took the train back to SMBC to get our luggage and then had found someone there to help us call a taxi. Since Katie didn't really know where the place was that she had to pick up her luggage, it was easier to take a taxi. We saw Liz, Caitlin, and Amanda, so we said goodbye to them before our taxi came. We went to pick up Katie's luggage. (it's a long story how it finally got to Sydney) We had to have some of her stuff in the back seat with us since it wouldn't all fit in the trunk.

We then went to the airport. We separated to check in, and then we met back up. Katie had to repack her suitcases because they were over weight, so Rohan came to get me at our meeting spot and I went back and watched. It was actually quite funny, although I probably should have been helping. I had no idea how to help, though. After she finally got her luggage checked, we said goodbye to Rohan and went to security. After security we went to our terminals, which were of course at opposite ends of the airport. Katie and I said goodbye. It was so sad but we are roadtrip buddies, not airplane buddies. I still can't believe I didn't cry at all, but then I remember that I can't really cry anyway. (Not that I'm a heartless person, although some people may say so, I just have an emotional block from years of depression)

At the airport, I had to use up my bank account because it wouldn't work in America. I had to buy a present for my mom's Goddaughter because she had asked me to and I just took a bunch of money out of a machine that converted it to USD. I still had about $20 so I ended up buying a stuffed koala that is holding a didgeridoo and when you press its hand it plays the didgeridoo. I then boarded the plane from Sydney to Los Angeles. It is a 14 hour flight, and I was hoping to sleep like when I came over. No such luck! I was in the middle seat and only took a nap. It wasn't a bad flight and it actually seemed pretty short after being on a bus for 60 hours.

The next leg of my flight was LA to Chicago. I was really rushing through the airport because my plane didn't land in LA until 10 minutes after I was supposed to be boarding my flight! Luckily, I made it. I had the window seat this time and could sleep for a bit of it. It was only a few hours, though. There was a cute baby next to me, too. The baby was nursing, though, which I find disturbing. I don't care if you nurse your baby, just don't do it in the seat next to me! When I got off the plane was my first experience of being in the snow again. There was some freezing wind blowing in the passage thing between the plane and the airport.

The final part of my flight was from Chicago to Detroit. I had to run to make my flight again. I can think of a few people that would probably pay to see that. When I did get on, my seat was taken so I had to sit in the emergency exit row. The flight was less than an hour, so it wasn't a bad flight at all. After we landed, we had to stay in the plane for a while because the door wouldn't open. It had frozen shut or something and they had to call the mechanic. I kept texting my parents to let them know, and my mom was taunting me with the fact that she made me scotcheroos! I finally got off the plane and to my parents. They had brought my winter coat, new boots, scarf, and kangaroo hat for me so I wouldn't freeze on the walk to the car. My suitcase ended up not making the last flight with me and was stuck in Chicago. We had it delivered the next day. When I got home Buddy would not leave my side! I could tell that he missed me!
Yup, I'm a nerd!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

I brought home a plush plague, but a real cold!

I did not sleep well at all last night. I was woke up for at least half of the night. I was pretty sick. We had to wake up and be at the church by 8. When I woke up, Bec had already left to catch a flight home for a wedding. When we got to the church we had to put some chairs and other things for the pageant in the car and go to the park.

The pageant was sort of a variety of things. They told the Christmas story through a pageant and had singing, the Girls' Brigade did a dance, and our group performed a puppet show to show the true meaning of Christmas. The puppet show was about a girl who didn't know the true meaning of Christmas and when she went to bed her stuffed animals came to life and tried to find it for her. Our group also did a skit around Hark! The Herald Angels Sing. In the skit, the group started singing, but they were interrupted by Frank and then Steve explained the lyrics to him. I didn't participate because I could barely talk, let alone sing. Afterward, we helped clean up then went to our billets for lunch. I just drank some "ensure" again. I also took a short nap before listening to Nathalie practice her testimony for church that evening. I got to sit in their massage chair while she practiced, and it was great.

Andrea in the puppet show
Erica was the narrator 













Girls' Brigade

Hark! The Herald Angels Sing skit
At 4ish, Jon and James came to pick us up for church since Rodney and Vanessa weren't home. Church was a 5:00 service and they have a very small church. There was probably about 20 people there that weren't part of our mission team. We sang, then Catherine gave a bus trip report, Nathalie gave her testimony, we had a skit, a pray, bible readings by Katie and Jo, and Steve talked about the reading. The skit that our group performed was one where Erica gave Jack a present and was really excited, but then he just smashed it up. I never would have understood it without the meaning being explained to me. It is supposed to represent Jesus giving us the present of forgiveness and most of humanity just destroying and not taking care of it.

After church, Vanessa was nice enough to take me back to her house to pick up my stuffed dog that I had left there. I got it for a present from my sister's friends in college when I was in the hospital for my brain surgery. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost it!

Next they had their youth group, which consisted of mostly middle school aged kids. When Vanessa and I got back, they were having a sausage sizzle. I don't like sausage, but I did eat some bread and they had neapolitan ice cream, so I ate that. After dinner, everyone went in to the common area of the church. Our group performed a skit where Jack was a superhero, but Katie and Erica played two girls that didn't need saving. It was supposed to represent people neglecting Jesus as their saviour. After the skit, Frank gave a talk.

We then cleaned up the church and had a group discussion of what had happened over mission. It was pretty emotional, although I don't cry. Everyone started looking at Katie when she was talking about how it affected her, and it brought her to tears. We then packed up the bus that we were borrowing and drove to Sydney. We didn't end up leaving until after 10 and they told us that it would take 2 hours to get there. It ended up only being 1 1/2 hours.

In Sydney, we were staying at Sydney Missionary & Bible College (SMBC) since they were nice enough to let us stay there. We had to wait for someone to tell us where we were staying, so Katie and I walked around for a bit. We saw some people watching a movie upstairs, but then we just went to wait by our luggage again. We ended up staying in the same single room and Katie just slept on the floor. After we dropped our stuff off, we went outside since we weren't really tired. We saw this giant slug on the grass. I guess it probably wasn't that big in Aussie standards, but it was big to Katie and me! We then met up with Nathalie and decided to walk around the campus a bit. On the other side of campus, we saw Rohan so we started talking and then Jae, Jon, and Scott came out too. The original plan was to stay up all night since it was the last night that Katie and I would be in Australia, but everyone else was tired and I was sick so we went back to our room after a while. Katie and I ended up talking for a while. Suddenly I just see this look on her face, like she had just seen death or something. I slowly turned around and saw this cockroach that was at least a few inches long! It was huge! (Again, by our standards, not Aussie standards...) We just watched as it did laps along the ceiling. Katie then asked if they could fly, and I wasn't sure. A few seconds later it starts to fly and she let out quite a loud high pitched scream. Nathalie heard her and came to see what was going on. We then were trying to get it, but we had no idea what we were doing. Nathalie went to go get help, and found Mark. I took a video of him killing it, and it is hilarious. He will want to kill me he sees this, but I feel pretty safe that he won't come to Michigan and track me down to do it!













Saturday, December 11, 2010

WWF has nothing to do with wrestling or pandas

When I woke up today my voice was about two octaves lower than it usually is. I was just glad that I hadn't lost it. We had a meeting in the morning and then we had free time while the people in the puppet show practiced for tomorrow. After free time we went to another nursing home. I felt really sick and like I was going to lose my voice, but I sang anyway. The testimony was given by Bec and the bible verse by James again. After we sang, a cat came in that they have there for therapy. This nursing home was in between the other two as far as the coherency of the people in it. Some were not there mentally at all, but some seemed very mentally stable.


After the nursing home, we went back to the church for lunch. Since I was still feeling sick, I just drank another one of my fake ensure things. We then had free time in the afternoon where we went to Wentworth Falls, as in the actual waterfalls. It was abbreviated WWF a few places and it made me laugh because when I hear WWF I think of World Wrestling Federation. (yes, I know it is WWE now) I was debating not going, but Steve told me that we could go slow if I felt sick. I was glad that I went because it was beautiful. I only made it about 1/2 way down before I had twisted my ankle. Jack wrapped it up with some extra socks that Jo had in her bag. Jo was nice enough to stay back with me and then walk back up. My ankle still hurts if I step on it funny, but I think it will probably hurt forever in that sense. My sister said hers still hurts from cheerleading in high school and she graduated in 2002. 
The Americans at WWF
Me, Katie, and Nathalie












When everyone got back to the top, we went shopping in Katoomba. First we went to a cafe for afternoon tea and I just got a Sprite. Then Nathalie, Bec, and I went looking for a present for our billets. It was after 5 by the time we started looking, so almost everything was closed. We found a Kmart that was open, so we bought them a fondue set and a card.

fake ensure
Next we went to dinner at the church. I ate some real food in the form of a potato thing but I also drank some "ensure." I had my ankle on ice all during dinner and afterwards because it was hurting. I then sat around while everyone prepared for tomorrow. I was supposed to do a reading at church tomorrow evening, but since I was sick and thought I may lose my voice, Jo took over for me. Then Vanessa took me home when she went before everyone else because I was sick and wanted more rest.